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The Road To Hollywood (1978) Script
GUARD (Paul Frees): Good evening, gentlemen. GENTLEMEN #1 (John Huston): Good evening. Have you ever wonder why we got here? GUARD (Paul Frees): Yes, gentlemen. This movie of The Road To Hollywood is showing in the executive drive-in theater tonight at 6pm. GENTLEMEN #2 (Don Messick): You call this a film? I know detergents that leave a better film than this. GENTLEMEN #1 (John Huston): Just warning up, of course. GENTLEMEN #2 (Don Messick): We're here to heckle The Road To Hollywood. GUARD (Paul Frees): Gentlemen, you may go on ahead. It's starts in 3 hours. GENTLEMEN #1 (John Huston): 3 hours? GENTLEMEN #2 (Don Messick): They're afraid to show it in public! GENTLEMEN #1 (John Huston): I liked it. Thank you, sir. AMY (Cindy Robinson): Well, It's just like when I'm arrived at the drive-in. I hope. LADY (Nellie Bellflower): Yes, I know you all want to-- MONSIEUR (Paul Frees): Lady, is this seat taken? LADY (Nellie Bellflower): What-- Hey, you! Bring that back! FUZZY (Mickey Rooney): I'm so nervous. If I'm not funny, I won't be able to live with myself. PROFESSOR (Jackie Vernon): Well, then you'll have to get another apartment, won't you? ROBOT PRAYER: (Don Messick): You know, I hear this movie's dynamite. POPCORN EARNER (Orson Bean): Get your fresh organic popcorn, only a buck. DORI (John Stephenson): Buy me some, please. FORI (Jack DeLeon): Sure, Mama. Nothin's too good for my woman. DOGGY (John Huston): Woman! Woman! Woman! FILI (John Huston): Look at this place. What a dump! KILI (Jack DeLeon): Bunch of weirdos around here. Look at 'em. FILI (John Huston): I like the movie fine so far. KILI (Jack DeLeon): It hasn't started yet. FILI (John Huston): That's what I like about it! LUKE (Orson Bean): Do it! Oh, hey, Mister! Is it okay for me and my boomerang to be in your movie? Hey! PROJECTOR (Orson Bean): I told you, Luke, not in the movie or at the screening. LUKE (Orson Bean): Hey, but watch. SAM (Don Messick): Sir, does this film have socially redeeming value? PROJECTOR (Orson Bean): I certainly hope so, Sam. Sorry about that. Careful with that branch! Remember, it represents the movie! Okay? Lady, put the mango for the Peace Paint with the rest of the fruit. And will someone please make sure that the rocks are clear of dirt? DAISY (Deanna Mustard): 'Scuse me, everybody. Comin' through. Sorry I'm late. PROJECTOR (Orson Bean): Princess Daisy, you're here. This movie of The Road To Hollywood is about to start. How about you'll be in the car right next to Amy over here? DAISY (Deanna Mustard): Yes, sir. Oh, hey, guys. ZURI (Deanna Mustard): Oh, hello, Daisy. So, where are you taking me exactly? DAISY (Deanna Mustard): Well, It's just... so I can be in the movie. You know I've got to be back soon. It's the first time I'm presiding over the Royal Buffalo Wallow. My friend, Amy, won't be there. It's just me. So I've got to make a good impression. TIIFU (Cindy Robinson): Of course. That's what this is all about. DAISY (Deanna Mustard): And... You were going to help me get ready, remember? TIIFU (Cindy Robinson): We will, Daisy. Look. Here we are! Private screening! DAISY (Deanna Mustard): And we're here... Why? ZURI (Deanna Mustard): You need to look your best for your princessy duties. DAISY (Deanna Mustard): What's wrong with the way I look now? TIIFU (Cindy Robinson): Nothing! Nothing at all! ZURI (Deanna Mustard): Nothing that we can't fix. TIIFU (Cindy Robinson): Oh, c'mon, Daisy! It'll be fun! DAISY (Deanna Mustard): Okay. I guess I have a little time. TIIFU (Cindy Robinson): How can she be so happy? Can't she see we're miserable? It was fine for a day. ZURI (Deanna Mustard): Before the audience showed up. TIIFU (Cindy Robinson): But we can never leave the movie behind or Daisy. She's our best friend. ZURI (Deanna Mustard): Besides, someday she'll be a queen too. Just like that lady over there. TIIFU (Cindy Robinson): And it's up to us to help her be a good one. Maybe after the movie. ZURI (Deanna Mustard): Not again. PROJECTOR (Orson Bean): Hi, everybody, and welcome to the first screening of The Road To Hollywood. But before we begin, I'd like to thank everyone who contributed to this film... starting with the little people, from the hairdressers... to special effects-- That's enough of that, Harry! DOGGY (John Huston): Blow it up! Blow it up! PROJECTOR (Orson Bean): To the costume designers, to the prop makers-- LADY (Nellie Bellflower): Excuse me! Speeches aren't necessary, dear. Roll the film. PROJECTOR (Orson Bean): But I'd like to thank everybody... for all of their hard work and patience-- DOGGY (John Huston): Roll film! Roll film! ALL: Roll film! Roll film! Roll film! Roll film! Roll film! PROJECTOR (Orson Bean): All right. I'll get use to it right away. Roll film! GENTLEMEN #1 (John Huston): Excuse me. AMY (Cindy Robinson): So, Daisy, is this about how the movie really got started? DAISY (Deanna Mustard): Well, it's sort of approximately how it happened. Category:Transcripts Category:1978